Back in the US of A!

 Right now I’m sitting on the plane coming back to Dublin from New York.  We came to New York to be at my cousin Ben’s wedding.  I only took Tessa with me.  We thought we shouldn’t take Carson & Anna out of school for that many days, plus Matt didn’t think he should miss work and of course, the flights were pretty expensive to take everyone.  That choice I feel, turned out not to be the right choice.  As I think my mom and my Uncle Bill both said, “Some things are more important than just the expense of them.”  Anna & Carson were both very sad to have missed seeing their cousins and grandma and I certainly missed having them with me.  I’m sure Matt also would have enjoyed the trip.  So -- lesson learned.

In any case, Tessa & I had a great time seeing everyone and being together with family, cousins and extended family.  Weddings are always fun and this one was no exception.  The wedding ceremony was beautiful -- filled with thoughtful touches and beautifully selected readings.  The reception was so much fun.  The tone was set right off the bat by the bride & groom getting everyone out of their seats to dance before the first course was even served.  Their attentiveness and warmth made everyone feel like special guests.  I danced all night with anyone who wanted to dance and had so much fun dancing with everyone!

I loved the song choices for all the special dances, which honored not only Ben & Katie, but their parents’ marriages too.  The father daughter dance made me cry… brought back all the memories of my wedding day and the special dance with my dad, where he told me, as he always did, how proud he was.  I can imagine Katie’s dad was saying those things to her too. 

I’ve lived in New York, twice.  Once straight out of business school and again, after getting married.  Visiting New York with Tessa, and seeing it though her eyes, was an entirely new experience.  New York is so fun for kids, in a way I never expected.  There is so much for kids to do and everything there is at such an awesome magnitude -- there really is no place like it!  We visited the Plaza Hotel where they have a special “Eloise” area, fitted with kid sized furniture, a party room and plenty of Eloise paraphernalia to purchase.  Walking down Fifth Avenue with Tessa was a fun experience.  Seeing her drawn in to the beautiful window displays with all the sparkly jewelry, designer clothing, and other fine things made me giggle.   She specifically wanted to go into the Cartier store.  I was terrified of what she might touch, say, etc. but she was perfectly behaved.  The sales lady gave her special attention, supplying her with a little red Cartier shopping bag and a leather-bound Cartier catalog.  It was hilarious seeing her walk with her “little red bag” down Fifth Avenue. 


We also found a nice children’s book exhibit in the NY Public Library.  They had full size rooms decorated as the scenes from the most popular children’s books.  

 We celebrated Tessa’s 6^th birthday at the American Girl Store and then at Ellen’s Stardust Diner where the waiters & waitresses are all professional singers. 

 On another day we made it to the top of the Empire State building and looked out over the sea of tall buildings.  It looks like those buildings actually come straight out of the water. We also took a boat cruise around the Southern half of Manhattan and around the Statue of Liberty.

We ate at two Irish pubs where I was told there are actually more Irish people living in New York than in Dublin.  Not sure about that fact.  J  Again, having lived in New York, this trip was very different as I was seeing everything through Tessa’s eyes.  Tessa, you can make it there, you can make it anywhere!

Leaving today was hard.  I feel like I don’t have an anchor holding me anywhere.  I don’t feel rooted in Dublin and also recognize that my home and life in Mill Valley are not available to me right now.   I continue to struggle to settle into my new life.  I am finding myself questioning things a lot … did we do the right thing moving?  Is this really going to be good for the kids?  What is my story going to be of living in Dublin?  All these questions continue to resurface but answers are not yet clear. Looking forward to hugging Carson, Anna & Matt when we arrive in the morning.